Time shower thoughts ⏰
Birthdays, deadlines, and the past quietly becoming 20 years ago.
“Old McDonald” gets a lot darker when you realize everything is past tense.
It’s both creepy and impressive how quickly Wikipedia articles are edited after someone’s death to change certain verbs to past tense
If the witching hour always starts at 3am, then ghosts and demons must also be setting their clocks forward and backward each year.
If you give someone money for their birthday, it’s almost like you lost a bet with them on how long they would live.
People born on January 1st can never joke that their birthday was last year.
The assassination of archduke Ferdinand has indirectly lead to almost every memorable event of the past century
If you live in the same house for more than 150 years, then you know it’s haunted.
Luke and Leia probably think they are different ages because a year on Tattoine is probably different than Alderaan
At January 4th, 4pm, 1% of year will have passed already.
Birthdays are fatal in large enough doses
Clocks go “tick tock“ or “tock tick” depending on when you started listening.
You may have walked past someone you've played against online.
Your 36th birthday is a celebration of being alive as an adult for as many years as you have been alive as a kid.
The entire pen industry is held together on the basis that people are always losing their pens. Otherwise you would only need a new one every few years.
People from our generation will most likely celebrate “nice 69th” birthday parties
The first time you were relaxed, you were just laxed.
The average life expectancy in the Neolithic was between 20 and 33 years, so there's a good chance that agriculture was developed by a bunch of teenagers.
These WW3 jokes will be history by the end of this weekend
Having birthdays is great for your health. It's been proven that people who have had the most birthdays live the longest
Nails take 40+ years to decompose, so every nail you've clipped is still out there somewhere
Cut, copy and paste has been around for nearly 40 years and hasn't needed a single update
Every year you hit your death day and don't know it.
Staying home on a Friday night as an adult feels like a reward. As a high schooler it felt like a punishment.
You have only 1 birthday, the rest are congratulations for surviving.
We laugh at how wrong scientists from the past were, but people from the future will be laughing at us in just the same way.
Future archaeologists will discover a thin layer in our species' fossil record that is completely and totally littered with fidget spinners.
If humans don’t destroy the world by then, year 42,069 will be the memiest year of all time
The longer time goes on, the more kids will have to learn in History class
200 years ago, all vehicles had autopilot.